Holday post-mortem

Between being sick and the madness of the holidays, I've not had a chance to do much of anything except try to rest. That being said, I have made some significant progress in the novel in terms of integration of the new characters and the plans necessary to make sure the fourth draft will be successful when the time comes.

First off, the holidays and such. I've been sick for all of it, a nasty cold got ahold of me last Friday night and it has stuck with me ever since. I seem to be on the downhill side of it, but still have a particularly head rattling cough and enough congestion to fill a marine tanker. Outside of that, Christmas and its associated festivities were rather uneventful and atypical to the life in which I live, unlike this time last year when I was in the middle of one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. But since I am doing my best to put that era of life behind me, I won't talk about it. It's a regret I must live with. The only being letting another one slip away in the way she did, one that I felt a great connection to.

As this 3rd shifter 1st shifter moves forward with his life into 2014, my goals are many but the intrinsic structure of them all are nothing to write home about. Obviously, my first goal is primarily finishing this third draft, get it read over and self edited, then get the fourth draft down with the changes I want to include to make it as complete as possible. Secondly, I will looking to travel this year in some form - preferably outside of the country to explore how things are done outside the borders of the United States of America.  Right now, I'm looking at Australia as my number one pick, with New Zealand a close second if I decide to go for more of the scenery instead of hustle and bustle. My only real caveat is going alone, while giving me complete freedom to do whatever I wish, is depressing. A stranger in a strange land, it has that mystique that can be both alluring...and downing. Having someone you already know is helpful, especially when making friends is not a strong point. Having said all that, I look forward to expanding my social boundaries out. If I go to Australia though, I should probably be ready to drink though. Of all things to do, drinking is apparently a favorite past time. Oh boy...

So far, I have started compiling a list of things to do this year and I will do my best to attend all of them. Seeing as how my life as a bachelor is well underway and will remain that way if I have anything to say about it all, I will do the next thing and that's travel and explore.With all that being said, I will also be looking to finish up this novel and get it published in some form, whether in print or e-book form. The new characters have meshed really well with the story at this point and all of them are showing promise for the fourth draft, and perhaps beyond if prequels/sequels decide to come forward in the future. The way it's looking, the chapter total will come out to around 15, give or take 1-2 with around a 300-350 page count. Should make for a decent read for whomever would be interested, and once the fourth draft comes to life, a lot of the loose ends and unanswered questions should come forward toward its finale and the story can draw to a satisfying conclusion.

I had a lot more to write than this, but I think most of it would be nothing more than the rambling mind of a still-sick 1st shifter trying to get everything back in order.

Oh, new computer rig here in a couple weeks - finally, back to having power with my PC gaming and tasks. This poor little laptop screams every time I try to drive it hard, it just can't be done.

Until next time.

Insomnia, brain unloads, and knowing its a six day workweek...yep.

Just gonna stand here and keep being awesome.

That's out of the way, seeing as how sleeping is out of the question for this 3rd shifter today - I decided to look over the amount of writing I had a chance to do at work tonight while expanding the idea of the second book, or just incorporating the ideas into the current work, and thus far - it's leaning toward putting it all into the current book, which would expand it in length and depth. At this point, the ideas of sequels or prequels can wait, and if they come - wonderful, if not, also wonderful. That, along with making sure my ducks are in a row for the following chapters and it all made for a very productive (for me anyhow) hour of my time while we waited all night for stuff to work on. Let me tell you, and I'm sure fellow 3rd shifters can relate, but having nothing to do at three in the morning is a total bummer, and I'm pretty sure that's why I'm wide awake right now. May just tough it out and sleep tomorrow, if I'm not asleep by six or so tonight, that is my case. I should be sufficiently exhausted by then, 12 hours later.

The copyediting and rewriting once I finish this draft will be interesting as I look for any plot holes that I did my best to patch this time around, but I believe I should be able to incorporate the new ideas that would have made the second book, at least a few of them in this draft, before including the rest at a later date. I had contemplated starting over and writing them in now, but that would a step in the wrong direction. Would much rather prefer to keep my current storyline, because the small details I plan to include would be fine in the event that the third draft is the only one I decide to do, which I doubt. I think the fourth draft will be when I finally get everything I want included and will be the one I will take to the publisher, depending on whoever I plan to use.

If all goes as planned, provide my internal clock permits, I hope to have this draft done within a month or so - and given the progress being made on a daily (semi-daily?) basis, it should be an accomplishment easily attained. We shall see.

Short post as a short update, and mainly something to try and wear myself down. I hate days like today. Adieu. 

Two and more

Chapter eight didn't flesh out like I had hoped it would, but I think it may have turned out a bit better than I had envisioned. Right now, a couple glaring questions are looking me right in the face and they are starting to irritate me a bit. Going off my last post, I really don't want to think I'm a one trick pony on this deal, which is why I'm currently looking at ways to integrate a few new topics of conversation into it all for the characters to center around a couple new characters that I feel would make an meaningful impact on the storyline as a whole.

Chapter nine is looking like when the action kicks back into gear and things start to look interesting again. The main bad guy is called to come survey an area that was taken by the bad guys, one that is being used as a forward base. Meanwhile, the main character and his team arrive in Britain for a briefing, given a few hours rest before they are put on a rapid deployment assignment to the same area. By then, the shipment that the bad guys came to survey has already left, but an informant that had relayed the information had been captured and was possibly dead, but SOCA decides to investigate anyway. This leads to a semi-showdown between the main character and main bad guy - which neither one emerging victorious, but hopefully answering a few more questions for the reader along the way.

Onto the previous post, I am currently looking at a con-current book that may run alongside Project Alpha, starring one of the characters that gets a brief mention, possibly appearance later on if circumstances warrant it. This new character, if she holds up, would play a significant role behind the main storyline in some form, but I would have to find a way to establish her character and role and how she would be presented. Several ideas are running through my head and a lot of them I would like to include, but trying to fit her in would be problematic as I would have to justify her appearance and some other background information on her (who does she work for, what role does she serve in that job etc.) Given the current storyline, it could be argued that she is an American working in the British SOCA branch, and if this is the case - it can be argued in some form that her incognito status up to that point can be attributed to her own personal lust of vengeance against someone. Her and her partner (perhaps not necessarily a team, it could be explained that the British SOCA branch operates somewhat differently) are working behind the scenes in the original storyline, and their roles are greatly expanded in the second one.

I just need to start doing my writing and thinking while I am totally out of it. For some odd reason, I do my best thinking when I'm tired as hell. But I must focus on finishing the original book first. But given these new revelations, I think I have some material to help build on while editing and rewriting the final draft of the third iteration. Either way, that previous post may be coming down because I may have short changed myself - which I'm prone to do unfortunately. Perhaps a permanent stupor of fatigue is necessary for me to have success in this business, who knows.

Anyhow, next update should have more details on chapter eight and nine. Maybe even some more about the newer run ins with a tired mind.

Adieu.

One and done?

A lot of discussion lately has been about potential for sequels in this series, but unfortunately - I do not see that happening, for a number of reasons. It has taken me 12 years damn near to get this book to where I wanted it, I highly doubt I have that many years to put together a meaningful sequel.

Put blatantly, I'm a, in my own opinion, terrible storyteller, haha. Given it has taken this long to come up with something I can be happy with, I highly doubt there will be much in the way of anything else beyond this novel unless I change genres in some way, which the ideas I have are good, but not really enough to cause me to devote my life to it. While I enjoy writing, may even be considered a talent, I'd say once this one is finished, that will be all she wrote for my brief authoring career.

The only genre I have any measure of interest in is modern sci-fi and thriller-horror lite such as zombies and mutations ala Resident Evil. However, trying to make anything worth while from that without drifting into survival reads is difficult. If I do delve into another genre, it will be in that mold of Resident Evil in some form - but that's only if I find a way to not stop my retirement after this current project.

Chapter eight should be complete in a few days and the second half is beginning to shape up pretty well. Even if this should be my one and only accomplishment, I hope that its something that I can be proud of because it brings interest from readers that will hopefully enjoy the novel for what its worth.

Short post, but just needed to get that out there. Until next time.

Write it all down on a piece of paper

Chapter eight will soon be underway, probably not today as I business to attend to this morning and it interfered with writing time. But I had a chance to get some ideas jotted down at work that modified a couple plot twists, mainly dealing with the hand switching of power for the bad guys, hints that the agency may not survive the events of the book, or even before, and there are several elements that are a bit more in the way of filler material than actually relevant to the story that I am considering omitting for now, but for now - it will remain. With the way this draft is progressing, it is highly possible that material may find a way to integrate itself into the story. Time with tell.

Expanding on the idea of the plot twist with the bad guys power shift, it involves the main bad guy carrying out his plan and it shows the ends to which he is willing to go to achieve his end by playing multiple sides in order to gain the confidence of everything necessary for his plan. After executing this, a new character was born with relevance to the general leading the Ultranationalist movement the connection to the story will not come until later in the story, near the end, but it is of grave importance and the main character sees a part of himself in them when it comes to life experiences.

After the events of chapter six, the agency is in peril due to the loss of manpower and with issues that arose, the president inside the book is beginning to wonder if it was a good idea to establish it given what it wound up being used for. Donovan Johnson is quick to tell him that it may seem that way, but they are still dedicated to their mission. Depending on how the rest of the book goes, it may be the agency is disassembled and perhaps reformed in some way. An idea that will gain traction later perhaps, but one that has some merit and some definite intrigue for a sequel, if any. Another idea that is on paper, along with many others, so ideas may be gathering for a sequel, who knows. One step at a time though.

The possible omission of what I see as filler material at the moment, may gain some relevance as the story progresses. This third draft, as stated at the start of this entry, has turned out much more detail orientated and a focus on getting the feel to the readers of the situation at hand. There are a couple in particular that serve no purpose to the serve, but have some emotion as they involve the main character and the love interest. One scene in particular occurs a night before the next set of missions take off, involving the loss of clothes and horizontal shuffling. But it serves no purpose in the storyline except a night of intimacy for the pair of them as it yields nothing special in the story, nor was anything brought on by it beside a heat of the moment thing. While it is an important step in their relationship, it technically serves no purpose, which is why its in limbo. The part that leads up to it originally in the second draft was omitted as a last edit on the second one, because it - like the scene that follows, is filler material, something I'm trying to eliminate. Chekhov's gun as they call it.

Now that most of the errands and personal stuff is taken care, I can get back to writing as early as tomorrow morning after work, which I have full intention on. Who knows, I do my best thinking at work apparently, so new ideas or reformation projects for the current ones may creep up between now and then.

Until then.

Kickoff

Chapter seven is underway and it has gone into a whole lot more detail than I had originally thought, a fact that scares and impresses me at the same time. While the extra details and hopefully looks into more emotion of the situation helps the reader stay engrossed, I also hope it doesn't cause the reader to lose interest. I did my best to make sure its all relevant stuff to the book and more so, for the characters themselves. It kept me writing during the extended scenes of the aftermath of chapter six and it all seems to flow really well, so I'm hoping that the extra details will help keep the reader entertained and eager to keep going.

Most of the events happened rather quickly from the end of chapter six and into seven, but that was my intention. Though the events push the boundaries of regular fiction and perhaps into a bit of fantasy/science fiction - I think some leeway could be granted in the means as it is fiction and if I drug this particular circumstance out too much, it would have been obsolete in a hurry and from there, it would have either ended the story on an unhappy note, or a new character would have taken over, which may or may not have been hinted at when the new team leader in Gabriel Rosenthal was introduced. I suppose, depending on personal beliefs of the reader, miracles can and do occur and the events can be justified by the intervention of superior medical technology, perhaps even a bit of divine intervention. I leave it up to the reader to decide and hope that it all allows them to feel the emotion of the story and show just how much the characters, especially the main protagonist, has grown to this point.

Chapter seven, thus far, has encapsulated the week or seven days following the events of chapter six and focusing on the agency, and more personally, the main character coming to grips with what happened. While slow by some standards, and lacking a lot of the supporting characters for the time being, I wanted this chapter to primarily revolve around Travi, Allison and to a lesser extent, Mark and it can be justified by the rest of Travi's team being in the process of recovering from the chapter six events and perhaps even taking there own measures on dealing with the situations, such as contacting family, or even taking the leave granted to spend with their family. This will all be hinted at in some form in the near future before the team comes back together for the stretch toward the finale, all of them having a chance to gather their thoughts and make sure that pressing forward is actually what they wish to do.

Chapter eight will probably be when things get back on track plot wise, though seven is no less important to the story. I intended this chapter to finally get the feelings and emotions between Travi and Allison conveyed and let those come forward for the both of them and giving the characters a rest from the trauma they had experienced in chapter six, which even if the reader couldn't see it happen, its events and aftermath hopefully showed just how close this story may have ended before things could be made right. An appreciation toward life can be given as a result, and I would imagine they will come back stronger for it, and more of a vigor to end the situation before it gets any worse.

Rather short-ish post, but that's all for now. Adieu. 

Halftime

Authors note: A correction for the last post, Chapter six was being worked on, instead of seven.

That's out of the way, so moving on. Chapter -six- has been completed, and one of the tricks in this one was conveying a bit more emotion this time around from more characters given the situation. In all, past a quick review to fix a couple nagging mistakes, I think I was able to convey a bit more on how the situation hits multiple characters and their individual responses (albeit some expected given their natures), and the way it contradicts their normal personality. The human emotional spectrum is a grand thing, and it's amazing what they can do to us in times of great distress.

Chapter seven, after the intermission - is when the story begins to take off and head toward its conclusion. The way it's looking now, the following chapters up to the finale will be the agency getting its ducks in a row and actually making progress on the goal, as opposed to the first half when it was more about establishing the character relationships and letting the readers get a glimpse of what the story may hold. Several new plot twists that were hinted at in the first half come to fruition and power switches hands, placing the world at a greater peril. Meanwhile, the first couple pages of chapter seven will encompass the main character in some dreams and thoughts, giving a better clarity into his background. The riddle he was posed with is finally answered during this time and he begins to refocus his attention on the dual threat that has now arisen. We get another look into his past, in "happier years", instead of the painful ones that have come over the last five years - and more into his relationship with the love interest, his history, his family's history, and how he got to where he was. All it told via dream sequences.

Once he awakens, things get interesting between him and the love interest, the bad guys have some internal problems, and the agency primes itself for a major campaign that will lead to what I hope will be a climatic ending, with an ending that belays not so much the importance of how the project is stopped, but why it is stopped. And even if the researchers data that was saved from destruction cannot do it, perhaps the sheer will of operatives who are moving to save the lives of millions that are threatened by the bad guys, can. Two different drafts have two different endings in terms of how the project is finally defeated, but the second one is mainly the actions of the agency in stopping the threat while the attack is underway, whereas the first one, the antidote was completed and had to be administered. The second draft's ending is a bit more ambiguous and leaves the door open that perhaps they moved just quick enough that the antidote wasn't needed.

Either way, the researchers (love interest included) still have significant roles to play in that, one of them is the catalyst for the main character and the other is the resolve of the pair to never give up, even if they cannot finish the antidote in time. The fact they survived, and it comes to a realization for one of them later in the book that without a certain element, the project is useless.

All very exciting (to me anyhow) stuff to work on. Loving this whole writing thing again. 

Looking ahead

Several things have switched around in the aftermath of chapter seven, which is now underway. Page count stands at 122, which is 11 more than previous count on the second draft, hopefully those extra pages are counting toward helping people understand the story and are not just filler material.

I have made attempts to go into a bit more detail this time around, explaining a few things to clarify the plot and clean up any confusion that may arise. I have done (or made an attempt at such anyhow), by incorporating a couple more "point of view" sections, including some not tied with the main characters and antagonists such as at the beginning when we see through President Adam Hunter's eyes while speaking with his State Secretary, then later from a police captain in Italy speaking with his subordinates. By adding in this small extras, it helps tell the story a bit better and allow the reader to (hopefully) see it from all angles.

Looking ahead, the story will start to pick up some as we approach the proverbial "halftime" of the book. Relationships have been established, new ones will be in the making and the main characters begin to knuckle down and kick ass now that problems plaguing them are a thing of the past. Its starting to get exciting, if not a bit emotional, as things make a turn for the better for the characters while a nightmare incarnate may come true. Time shall tell.

Short post from the phone while on break. May have some to add later on today. Adieu.

Pride and Dreams

Despite my previous thoughts, the supposed sledgehammer never came to fruition thankfully and it looks like I managed to figure out how to approach the next part of the story, the apex I have been talking about for a few entries now. One thing that is still bothering me is whether or not to introduce one of the new characters at that time, or hold off on that for now. His presence could be justified, but it may throw a bit of a curveball for me in how the rest of that section is supposed to play out.

This could branch into several different routes depending on how it plays out. As it stands at the moment, a major turning point occurs with the team, specifically, the main character. One recurring thought is that if I decide to introduce this new character, he would become a main character probably immediately as the plans for him include assistance of the Mavericks for the rest of the story. If they are called in for this next "mission", then I think I may know of a way to keep the main storyline alive that I enjoy and also make it so they can make an appearance and announce their roles off the bat.  This would work out rather well and wow, it's amazing what happens when I'm half asleep and the brain is going full throttle.

Now that is fixed, so it's time to look at my upcoming chapters. As stated in the previous entries, this is when questions begin to be answered, relationship culminate, ulterior motives are revealed, and the entire dynamic of the book changes. The new characters will begin playing important roles and I'm hoping they will have have some measure of relevance to push the story forward. So far, Allison's relevance to the story has been centered primarily on her pursuits of Travi and also trying to develop a rapport with her new colleagues. Her research on the project cure could wind up being slowed, or completely destroyed with some modifications to what I have so far, and her life, along with Heather, is constantly in the balance and threat of assassination. What I have so far is a set back due to circumstances, and it may lead to my second draft's version where it was worked on fervently, but never completed due to the data being destroyed, and since the agency will begin moving in overdrive, the bad guys never get a chance to stockpile much of it (outside what was used for the intimidation strikes, while their researchers and virologists continue to produce it at the best rate possible) and what they do, is loaded and becomes part of the finale.

All of this will probably come under a strong review by myself and wind up as fourth draft before it's all said and done, but I am glad to finally be smoothing out the rough edges that have plagued me for so long. Eventually, I'll see this book on a store shelf I hope.

Until next time.

Slowed progress

Hit a couple snags this morning in how I plan to approach the next "mission". As of right now, I am unsure on how exactly it'll play out. A couple ideas came and went this morning, but nothing as of yet, has solidified.

The issue at hand is this mission is what kicks off the second half of the book and when the entire story takes a 180 as power switches hands and the direction of the bad guys turns from intimidating to downright deadly. It is also the point that another plot twist comes into play and the agency is shown to be very vulnerable, and that the main characters are not ten foot tall and bulletproof.

Looking at the cross-examination of the original concept in the second draft has yielded some fixes, and also may help account to add some realism and deal with the unrealistic approach of the events in the "mission". As of right now! It would appear that they investigate an old Soviet estate that was built in Cuba back during the Cold War.
That is the current idea and may be expanded upon with some new ideas.

Short post, but a quick update to let people know a brick wall may be inbound.

Voices screaming "Let's go!"

A newer examination is leading me to a couple new hurdles to clear, but I think I have figured out a way to make it sound like a reasonable in that, instead of one of the betraying factions is a separate entity in itself, it is rather made up of disenfranchised members of the current faction, resulting in an internal coup d'tat.

This seems to be my most reasonable and believable (for fiction anyhow) route to take.The idea of a third or fourth faction via for control complicates things a bit too much for now, but may leave the door open if they are somehow introduced in some form, perhaps a secret organization with ulterior motives not related to the storyline. It's on paper, but nothing will be made of it for now. A few have said I shouldn't stop at one, but we'll see how the first one goes and then if I leave enough loopholes and doors open, perhaps a sequel will follow - but I'm focused on the first one for now. That being all's well that ends well, eventually it would be nice to get a series going, but I have a very bad habit of killing too many bad guys, at one time. It has been shown on NUMEROUS occasions.

The new characters are developing well, and I believe a total of three or four, will make a debut in some form over the next few chapters, none more than an old team getting a makeover with a new team leader and teammates. While I haven't quite decided on the names just yet, that is the easiest part. Figuring out their personalities and how to approach them was the difficult phase, and that is now behind me. But given that I'm hoping to get the "second half" of the book started this morning it is looking like things will get interesting in a hurry now and hopefully the reader is still awake enough or hasn't quit on me as the first half of it was rather slow (total of two "missions" with both occurring back-to-back), but the first half was supposed to be more focused on developing the characters and their relationships with one another, spring some questions into the readers mind, and hopefully get them intrigued to stay with me. If that is the case, then I have succeeded well enough that I can feel comfortable that this won't die a quick death.

On the table are mainly the agency and related teams gathering answers on their opponents, a brewing trouble for the bad guys, and perhaps a three way war between three different factions. Not sure if I will go to that extreme or not, but it's an interesting thought. Another female character has potential as well, but she is on the sidelines at the moment and will probably stay there unless I feel she can serve some measure of purpose for the story (or she decides she can be of use somewhere), but her presence would mainly serve to advance a sequel if she makes an appearance at all. Finale is still in limbo, as is the closing chapters - but its one thing at a time. Eventually, I'm hoping this will all come to a good book that people will want to read, be willing to share, and give fairly decent reviews too. Probably not, but hey - a man can dream.

Onward to great victory!

This weekend started less than stellar as a combination of factors came forward to make me a rather foul mood individual for the majority of Friday, and for that I apologize to those I spoke and interacted with and may have been on the receiving end of it. But things turned out well enough, and it's been a rather productive weekend (as can be expected for someone on 3rd shift).

But my good old remedy that has always worked for me, worked again - finally being able to get to sleep once my mind settled down from its endless racing in the aftermath, and getting a restful nights (afternoons?) slumber. So again, to the ones that I may have upset or otherwise put ill feelings toward me, I do apologize - but looking at the conversation through a more alert and sharp mind, I still feel my defensive stance was justified in ways that some can understand, others - not so much. But never let it be said that I don't cherish my friends, because each and every one of you that read this, or I speak with on a daily or near daily basis, are important to me. I appreciate you all being there for me, and the concern you show for my well being, and I aspire to be as good a friend to you all as you all are for me.

Now, with that out of the way, how about some more shooting the breeze on the novel?

Chapter Five has me at an impasse as I am torn on just how quick I want to get to the veritable "half-way" point of the book and get into the meat and potatoes of it all where questions begin to be answered, the real plotline kicks off and it becomes increasingly clearer who the real enemies are in the debacle. As it stands right now, there would be one more "filler" mission (which is the best way to describe it, unless it has some sort of connotation tie in with the storyline, which at the moment is only the fact that the Alpha project is involved). That mission was a relatively quick and easy write and ended on a different note that defeated the purpose of it the second draft. It was a good one to take up some space, but I am trying to avoid those now and focus on just the necessary exploits needed to advance the story and keep up with the Joneses per se. Which has me at a bit of an impasse due to its good usage in giving the characters (the bad guys especially) more time to hatch their plans, but I think the direction I'm going has them ready to deploy those at any given time.

If I decide to make this that de facto half way point, then the second half of the book really is when things kick off. If anything, I look at the first few chapters up to this point as being "Disc 1" of a three disc game. Meanwhile, "Disc 2" is the primary "meat" holder of the story, while "Disc 3" is the "potatoes", the sub menu item that catches and ties up the loose ends and culminates with the finale when I am also taking a long look at to see if I want to subvert or change anything about it. As it stands, it finishes out on a rather emotional note as the main character finally realizes that he wants to be nothing like the ones he has chased the entire book, and finds it in his heart to forgive his past and look toward his future. In the first draft, he did this via a circling exchange between himself and the main bad guy, with all answers coming at once and the realization that the bad guy had been behind the entire scheme, then finishing in a one-on-one gunfight with the pair of them exchanging words to discover more of the truth, and the main character finally finishing off his opponent. Second draft was a bit less action orientated, involved a chase scene via motorized vehicles and then a stand-off between the main character, his second in command and the main bad guy, with the second in command being the one to pull the trigger and end the main bad guy.

Main character, main bad guy, main this, main that. Blah blah blah. I suppose it all comes down to how I want the story to end: On a more emotional, dramatic finish - or the typical mano a mano duel between two wills and their firearms while the story plays itself out with the answers to all the pressing questions. Both are viable options, but the second one always played out a bit better in that it was that final step that the main character takes on his path to figuring himself out and realizing that he is who he is, and no one else - allowing him to finally embrace what he has in store for his future and it makes him a better person on top of the already rock solid foundation of a Zack Fair type of character, who has his aspirations, but his only concern is getting back to the people he loves and protecting them from further danger.

The final chapter or two involves the realities of returning home after five years of not knowing how too, and allowing the relationships to focus on themselves without distractions. In the end, the main character had lost a great deal, only to gain so much more that he takes with him on his path to righting what he can, and to save those people who shouldn't have to fear anything, from their past or otherwise.

Otherwise, with that being said - if I move forward with my original plan to ignore the filler "mission", then the next chapter or two are emotional heavy in the things that go on and it also will set everything in motion toward the conclusions of what I hope will be a dark, but uplifting, story of how when a group of people stand together (the Mavericks), they can accomplish anything, and prove that humanity is at their best, when helping secure a safe world, instead of create a hostile one.

Until next time.

Chapter five and onward

Started work on chapter five this morning and I'm a bit iffy on it at the moment due to the way it felt rather clumsy in the wording and flow. Keeping with my penchant to adjust or totally change things, I made a bold move to pin chapter four's events on everyone that has a high security clearance in the book, including the main character, with no actually knowing who the real suspect is. The reason for this is my attempts to convey a hidden agenda behind the scenes by one of the characters that is working surprisingly well enough, but it is causing some to grow suspicious and investigate, which leads to chapter five and onwards events.

The next few chapters are the ones that, in the previous drafts, were the turning points of the book, the climax persay, the half way point in other terms. If I keep this mantle of thought, then the rest of the story should flow rather smoothly as the evidence comes together and everyone is on board on what must be done. A few more twists and turns come at opportune times, and a few of the new characters I'm wanting to introduce may come to fruition very soon, including revamped members of the United Kingdom's SOCA branch. So far, I have not yet pinned down details, but things are progressing well - and it's turning into more of an open narrative at this point, trying to balance the action and suspense, with some lighthearted time between the main character and his team, and love interest.

With the advent of this new measure of thinking, I am hoping that the story does not get bogged down too much. In the later chapters, more emphasis is placed on tactical intelligence and planning, along with finalizing the growing relationships between some characters while also not forgetting they exist. In the past, the entirely of the story comes to a head in the final "mission" and I believe this will hold true now. I'm looking at adjusting some details with the final encounter, and some other misc. events, but for the most part - I am happy with the direction the story is going since I have managed to put some measure of darkness in the story telling, with more emphasis on the horrors that war brings, including mental scaring on the part of the main character as he is forced to deal with an increasingly more depressing past that at one point, threatens to tear him apart on the inside.

The ending chapters is what has me a bit confounded at the moment while I was thinking ahead this morning, but I believe I will either expand on those as to finish out the loose ends that I may leave, and also to bring a closure to the ten year struggle that the main character faced dealing with his past, good and bad. The love interest will have a huge role in this, and her presence cannot be understated. Part of the research that her and her companion are working on comes into limbo at some point, and I'm debating on whether they will actually get a chance to deploy the countermeasure of the alpha project, or if it just comes down to a race against the clock with the main team rushing to save millions of people that are risk from a full out genocide via the virus's capabilities. In the first draft, the countermeasure was completed just prior to the final "mission", and after the main team had finished that leg of the journey, it was deployed from the air to destroy the stock of the virus that was at the base just after it was leveled in a carpet bombing. In the second draft, it was finished just prior to another mission and that one felt much more clumsy in its wording and flow than the original. So, I'm debating on whether or not I'll work with the original drafts outline and flesh out some more details on that. In the end, it has the same result and while I don't want to reduce the role of the love interest and her companion, at this point - how long are the bad guys willing to wait? Given the way I have adjusted some of them in this draft, not very long.

Time will tell.

A story that tells itself

That is precisely what my novel has turned into, and it was no more prevalent than this morning when I sat down to finish out chapter four. It turned out NOTHING like the first and second drafts, and took a completely different, albeit more directional, turn than I had originally seen. While trying to figure out how to present certain characters and give them an entirely new look, they seem to have figured it out themselves and it has made this task so much easier.

One thing I was wanting to accomplish with this telling was make the book a bit darker in feel and give a sense of uncertain to the characters who are leading the way, while also keeping it light enough that it wouldn't completely suspense out the rest of the story. Keeping with that mixture of dark and light, it makes it a bit easier to put actions in words because now I'm at the point that I am allowing the characters to mold themselves. The main bad guy, while always cunning, conniving and arrogant - has now taken a new turn in showing his lust for murder. I've always wanted him to be a polar opposite of the main character, and it is starting to take shape right before my own eyes. It's strange how this works, and breath is given to figments of the imagination.

Involving old characters in new ways is a bit of a challenge as well, but seems to working out thus far (in that the entire team sees a fair amount of actions as well as the main character), while including minor characters given some "screen" time out of the essence of developing bonds between them and others. One example of this would be showing how a pet dog is willing to place himself in harm's way to protect the two gals that saved him. Dogs are the epitome of loyalty and know that their efforts saved him and he is willing to repay that debt with his life if necessary. Add in that I have ideas for a couple new characters to make introductions at some point, it's turning itself wide open now and my entire will is now focused on writing instead of working through problems. Letting the characters handle them is much more preferable at this point, because they understand the situations better than I do it would seem.

Changes:
-New outline on Chapter Four, and possibly Chapter Five.
-New characters to be introduced within the next few chapters.
-Spreading the wealth persay on team interactions and combat (trying to get all of them involved so its not just the main character doing all the work).
-Scratching out details on making combat scenes flow a bit better.
-Trying to avoid the moniker of imperial stormtrooper tropes, which is difficult in itself.

To top it all off, found a couple soundtracks that I had been searching for and my book now has opening title and "credits" for each chapter that is starting to play out like episodes of a television series. Ah, how things change.

On everyday ending in "y".

A couple new situations presented themselves while I was in the process of writing this morning before taking my daily downtime known as sleep. Differences can originate in so many ways and it can always be something very minor, such as a small detail that can suddenly throw the entire line of thinking into limbo and drastically change the course of the story.

I'm well in chapter four now, and upon review of the 2nd draft, I was only 65 pages into the book. I'm sitting at 89 now, with additional details that I have placed into the writing in my attempts to better explain and show all situations that have been going on and hopefully help build the characters into real people that readers can relate to. One major change I have made is integrating (poorly at times), multiple POVs in any given situation that helps regale the entire circumstance. An example would be, while x character is doing this, y character is doing this in the meantime, usually separated by ** marks to indicate that it is a concurrent situation. Not sure why I chose those, but the books and stories I have read in the past have always used those as a way to show what is going on with other characters while the main characters are otherwise preoccupied in their current tasks.

This presents a small problem when two of the "POV" characters actually have "screen time" together, but this seems to be solved by merely showing it from the main character's view as the story is probably concerning him just as much as the secondary character (any interaction between Travi and Allison, Travi and his team, and later on, any faceoffs between Travi and Mark). Seeing as how the story is centered around the kid Gladius, it makes sense that his POV would take priority. Other times, it may be better to allow a secondary character (such as Allison) to take the spotlight. It's one of the many difficulties of writing, and one of those things that still present a challenge to an unseasoned author such as myself.

Of all days ending in "y", I focus much of my free time on trying to keep the story fresh in my mind and keep the characters talking to me. The more they tell me, the more I write. At this point, I can't even tell if I'm the one writing the book....or if they are.

Short post, but just a few ideas that have crept up on me. Also now have an emergency backup plan to fall on if my writing hits another block. Hopefully this project will be a break-glass-in-case-of-emergency thing, just an attempt to refire my thoughts and get back to writing. I haven't been this zeroed in for a long time, so maybe I'm finally getting the rest of the crap out of my life that was bogging me down. Time will tell.
 

New thoughts

I have been glancing over my notes lately on the conversation flows between characters and trying to make them sound realistic and convincing. So far, I have found that the differences in the characters speech patterns are starting to make a bit more sense and also lessen the cluttered nature, still something I'm working on though.

Originally, most all of the characters have had a similar, if not identical way of talking, but as anyone will tell you, no two people talk exactly alike. I've tried to give each one of the characters a different "tone" persay, as in: Chase Jules, his usual speeches have some measure of smart-ass about them as that is his personality. Jon Gray on the other hand, is a bit more soft spoken and and careful with his words. Two opposite ends of the spectrum, but both coexist very well due to the established unwritten boundaries that come with being teammates in the world in which they live. In a sense, the blending of personalities is a good way to bring the characters to life and make sure that they can live peacefully and not have any measure of conflict of interests. Any, if at all, comes via circumstantial and situational triggers that can be quick resolved.

Same thing goes with the way in between male and female characters in their speech patterns. This part I'm still working on, as it common knowledge that unless there are major influences in life on the behalf of the speaker (such as a female being raised as more of a tomboy than "girly-girl"), most of the time - she is not using stereotypical "male" words that are exchanged. Rather, I find the female speech pattern a bit softer than a male's in terms of tone and context. Again, this is more the rule than the exception and there are plenty of the latter.

The conversations between Travi Gladius and Allison Kadmus have really befuddled me over the years as it takes some doing to get inside the mind of a woman (if it is even possible to begin with), and find out exactly how they would respond in certain situations. One of the main things I am faced with is trying to reintroduce the pair of them in the story as an item while not exactly rushing it along as that would destroy and eliminate a very important plot point in the later chapters when it comes time for Allison to finally confess that her feelings had not changed in the years that the duo had been apart. Developing her character over these many years, she has become the most complex character out of all of the supporting protagonists and I have had to consult my gal friends on several subjects pertaining to her and to a lesser extent, Adele Lancaster - the team's pilot - who would fit more into the exceptions above as I designed her character to be in line with more of a "tomboy with female traits", in that - she is "one of the guys" normally, but also knows that special occasions call for special circumstances and exceptions in that she is not afraid to get fancied up if the occasion dictates so, such as at the end of the book.

Moving into chapter four now and one thing I have really concentrated on is the slowing of the pace of the story and delving more into the day-to-day activities of the team, hopefully without killing the story in the process. As it continues, things pick up as the missions toward finding out the true meaning behind the Project Alpha attacks continues to build. I have also added in some subtle hints that Mark is working for his own ends, which adds another element to it all in how devious and truly evil his character is and can be. I plan to try and showcase this more as I go, hopefully making it all into an interesting story that has a good mix of action, espionage, dark tones, and romance to make it intriguing. Building the characters up, especially Travi, over the course of the book is proving to be quite the chore, but I think its starting to flow a bit better now and I'm actually starting to like the way that things are moving with it. Perhaps I may finally get somewhere with this writing project and not have it be collecting dust on the shelves for months/years at a time.

More later, adieu.  

Living a bitter existence

We all have our moments of doubt and pain in life, and usually we find a way to push through it and move on. But what if it feels like your entire existence is nothing but a life of bitterness and jaded thought?

I live such a life and for pretty good reason all things considering. I don't blame others for my downfalls, nor my current situation, nor anything that has happened over the 26 years of my life. I am the type of person that everyone doesn't like to be around, the negative thinking, bitter individual that only looks at what can go wrong and why.

Many people call this outlook pessimism. I call it realism. Life is brutal, unfair and fate along with karma completely undue whatever myriad of good works and feelings you have on a daily basis. I blame no one but myself for all of this, but I also have to look at what put me in the situation. Lack of faith? No. I had plenty of it for years before I gave it up. Everyone says that if I think positive, it will be positive. I hate to say this, but I have tried that as well and it never works.
I consider myself a jinx with a jaded life. Every time I do or receive something positive, they never snowball for more positive to help me get myself in a good mindset. That positive I receive is often given at a heavy cost, or is immediately followed by a strong, usually equal or greater, negative. Anything from being able to get healthy, only to injure something - to filing bankruptcy as I currently am, and finding out I may smacked with a presumption of fraud due to the new laws enacted back in 2005 concerning the bankruptcy code.

I'm not sure why I even try anymore. Perhaps for my friends and family? But anymore, that's all I have. People say that's all you need, and that may be true. But let's face it, living a jaded life where you expect nothing to go right (rarely does anyhow), everything to go wrong, and never being able to appreciate any positives because they are immediately followed with stress, is just how I am.
I tried changing it, but I can't. I cannot change who I am because it is who I choose to be.

This is yet another reason why I write. An escape where I can give my characters a positive that is not followed by a negative. A life where they are not always thinking of the worst.

A life...where true happiness can be attained.

Into the new ages

First off, congratulations to my friends Ashley and John for their commitment to one another and here is to many years of them avoiding the urge to kill each other.
Good luck to both of you :)

But I guess since we're on that topic, it is one that I'll touch on because of carries some significance in my life. No, I'm not married (don't plan to be, and will make attempts to make sure I don't), but it hails to an important plot point within my writings, especially my novel. And it is often said that a writer bases a lot of the characters, events and such on actual events in their life. More so on the characters and the context in which they are presented.

As many know that have followed my ideas and writing through the months (years?), the main character and his childhood sweetheart wind up reunited through the course of the first few chapters of the novel and their relationship quickly is rekindled after figuring out the pair of then both sought to keep their promise to one another. But I noticed that most all of my writings have some measure of romance in them, and this even extends toward some other aspects of my life.

Going back to the original point, some say that writing is a way to build the world in which you would want to live in. So therefore, is my subconscious really telling me that my life would be better as a married/commitment man? Even though my thoughts and wishes say otherwise, it is strange how your heart and soul will come forward with such emotions in the form of writing.
Perhaps I am merely following the character's heart? They say that the characters will tell you what they want to do, and you should listen. So, it is entirely possible that I am letting my main character live my ideal life for me. If that is the case, then I can be truly happy. At least someone/thing is.

Look back at the myriad of works over the years and all of them contain some measure of romance for the main character. Infinitey in my Matrix Online fic, Allison in my novel, Nicole in another short story I wrote. All of them had fallen in love with their respective main characters, and they all wind up with the ideal wish for a wonderful life together.
So, perhaps it does come down to my characters living a wonderful life for me. If that is the case, then Travi Gladius truly has the flawless diamond of unmatched perfection in Allison Kadmus. It causes him to find a new meaning for his life and shows how much he grows over the course of the book.

The pair of which had their love begin as kids. Only to culminate to them both saying "I do" at the altar. Ten years of waiting, and they did so for a reason. A story that only a bard could spin, but one that makes for a feel good sideliner in the otherwise dark-ish tellling of Project: Alpha.

Adieu.

The friendzone

I'm sure a lot of guys (gals too) are familiar with this phrase. The friendzone, that lovely little area in life where most all good people searching for meaningful relationships wind up. It is the place that when places there, you are no longer an option as far as relationships go (other than friends). You are not even eligible for benefits in the position, you are just a friend and probably a damn good one too.

It is no secret anymore that the norm for society is that the nice people finish last. For the purposes of this post, I'll refer to guys. Think about how many times you have been denied the love of someone you really love. Think of how many times you have told her your feelings, only to have her say she is not good enough for you, or you can find someone better or, my personal favorite: "I just don't see you that way." There are of course others, the infamous speech of how she is not ready to commit to a relationship, then dates someone literally days later. All good ones, but they all lead you to the same place: The Friendzone.

An area where even when you try to do the greatest, in feminine terms "sweetest" thing for a lady friend, they enjoy it and then talk about what a great guy you are and how she'd like to find a boyfriend just like you. That's another good one: "I hope I can find a boyfriend just like you!" instead of: "Wow, is this really happening?"

Ladies, when we do something like listen to you on the phone for hours at a time, normally complaining about something, its because we care about you. When we find out something awful happened and we take time out of our days to come over and talk to you, its because we care about you. When we show up with flowers,  its not because we just felt the need to spend money, its because we care about you and more than likely, are trying to convey a message to you. That message is, we're interested.

But instead, the usual response is: "Oh, you are so sweet! Thank you! You're the best friend ever." And while we'll smile and nod, and say no problem, on the inside, you just crushed us. But we'll put a good face on, just because we care about you and its not in our blood to get mad and berate or insult you like some asshats are prone too. We have class about us and know that treating a woman like dirt is wrong in any form. Respect, courtesy, and kindness - are they really that alien?

One counterargument I get is that if women tried to date their good guy friends, they run the risk of messing the friendship up. While this is plausible, it is simply a cop-out. You already know you can trust this guy, and have turned to him for everything except what comes with a relationship, that argument is invalid and irrelevant, its trite and overused. More than likely, you all are best friends because you share some form of common interests, probably trust each other a lot, and know enough about them to see that they will not change.
By not dating the good guy friends, you run the risk of losing them entirely.

I know this doesn't happen on just our side of the equation, but I have seen it more with guys being put into that dreaded zone than gals. And when us guys go there, we do it because we are hoping that eventually you will see, the reason we got involved with you in the first place is because we were interested in you. It doesn't have to be about sex, and rarely, it is. The good guys want a meaningful, deep connected relationship as much as women do, whether they will admit it or not.

So ladies, next time you complain to your good guy friend about the asshole you're dating, just remember that the answer to all your problems may be sitting right in front of you. And whenever you ask where all the good guy are...

They're in the friendzone, right where you left them.

Memories, dreams and spectres of the past.

Not that many read this thing, but it does give me the chance to document the turmoil in my life. I use that term because that is the correct one for my life at present. Been in conversation with a lot of people lately, and it has me thinking about how many folks I have lost touch with, or I have, somehow, managed to upset and that would cause them to not speak with me anymore. I guess I can never understand the tenants of my age group and how I'm an outsider in pretty much every aspect of life. But the theories I have, have given me some perspective into it all as I glance back into the memories that flood back as I think about certain things.

 

It has been 14 months since I put my oldest dog to sleep as a mercy to end her suffering. To this day, I am saddened when I think about it, and the thought alone is enough to catapult me into a deep loneliness and depression.

The usual dealing with coworkers and lamenting about the fact I forgot to pay a bill today. I've also been dreaming vividly as of late, about random things mainly - some of which make no sense, some that do, and the majority that cannot be explained. A few nights ago, I dreamt of an old friend that I had taken a genuine liking to during our times together in Star Wars Galaxies. I recall a few many things that we had done together, including a surprise I received from her in game. I was even very close to actually meeting her and treating her to a weekend at an anime convention, something we both enjoyed. However, that never came to fruition. We attempted to swap phone numbers, and many thought that she was keeping something away from me. Whatever the case may be, I have lost contact with her and everything else aside, she was still a good friend and soul that I could count on to be there for a lent ear and voice of reason. But contact has been lost, as has been the story of my life.

 

The story of my life, one that has been marred since day one, literally.

 

A lot of people blame my lack of happiness on my negative outlook. First off, I don't consider it a negative outlook, I consider it a realist outlook. Positive connotation toward life, in my opinion, leads to deep disappointment and pain. I know, I've done that. I consider it folly, but I don't jeer the ones who believe in it. I personally don't - it just leads to heartbreak. My life is in shambles, I've had many folks decide to kick dirt on me by letting me know they "told me so" on many a subject, and at this point - I personally don't care. And while I know not everyone's life is kosher, the majority of those around me have things to grab ahold of dear to them. Be it husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, kids, pets or whatever - all I have left in my life is a handful of friends and a few family that are content that I am who I am and not judging me based off what I am not. I know what I am, I know what I am not.

 

I am a sad, sorry existence of life that does his best to put a good face on in his daily ongoings. But those dear to me know the truth, and it is anything but good in my life. As I sit here, I have felt weird pings all day in various areas of my body in terms of pain. Nothing to write home about, but enough that it is noticible and makes me wonder if my body is starting to rebel against itself a bit with all the stress.

 

Stress, something that has been killing me lately due to worry about everything since I rarely have else to think about. Most all vestiges of the carefree attitude I had at one point has disappeared and the more I stop and look at my life without distractions, it's just amazing how quick things turned on me.

 

Spectres of the Past is finally completed, and turned my attention back to the original book. Sorting new ideas, the usual stuff that probably won't pan out - but hey. Anything can happen.