I wonder why I even try sometimes. The life of someone who spends his life in an perpetual state of bitterness, I make leaps occasionally to try and find that elusive silver lining that people speak of all the time.
Boy, what a mistake that is.
My last post spoke about how things work out in the tune of people predicting certain events as a result of conversations. I also take a look at how those things affect those around me, as well as myself. As was said before: "Fate is not without a sense of irony." It is fate that drives us, guides us, defines us, binds us. It can argued that along with fate, there is purpose, in that, we are all on the earth for a purpose unbeknownst to ourselves. I believe that this purpose is self-defined, and that you live the life however you feel you should. I choose the bitter one.
Over the last few years, I have said goodbye (in friendly and not-so-friendly terms) to a lot of people I once called friends. Many of these friendships were dissolved over petty differences, or for reasons I have yet, and probably never will, discover an answer to. Most recently, came from the likes of two individuals that were the topic of a post many moons ago that has long since been deleted because it was part of "The Debacle" as I am fond of calling that portion of my life. One of which became my friend due to our common interests, another that became my friend due to the other. Time being what it is, moved itself forward to the present day. A few arguments, shouting matches, and other misc. issues led to the point where I felt like the friendship was splintering. I was correct.
After breaking the ties and moving on, I decided to sweep out the people I deemed as too much poison in my life. To my credit, I got rid of many people who were nothing more than just acquaintances - then it came to these two. People I had trusted and cared about, a lot. Just to be sure, I took a deep moment to reflect upon the decision before nodding as the best one. I was given a scathing message as a result, and it was something along the lines of "die a horrible death and rot in hell". Convenient, since that is where I will probably end up, if such a place exists. Fair enough.
The one friend in this mess was hurt by the decision, but chose not to say anything - instead regulating it to the other, who had one time told me she was not his secretary. It is what it is. Another set of losses on the parts of all involved. A decision I made to send three souls into opposite directions. Not much can be done to fix it, and that is the way the river flows. Ever in motion.
While there are always two sides to the story, I chose to take the way that would lead to the least amount of issue. Calmly turning my back and walking away. I see now that the poison was alive and well, as that venom soon attacked me, with words that they were "expecting" that all to happen.
In my line of work, when you expect something, that means you had already thought about it. So, I should not be surprised that the fangs were lurched my direction. Either way, it is what it is. Like always, despite it all - I still wish them the best. For me to wish ill on anyone is suicide in itself. Karma has a bad habit of making it all come full circle.
I will get back to novel stuff on the next post, which has slowed almost to a halt with life and my new gaming addictions. Not even sure why I keep this thing anymore.
